Lets be honest, if there is anything at Christmas that can turn you into a Grinch it is Christmas shopping. It is probably the most stressful activity that we have to endure all year.Yet every year it’s the same old story leaving you feeling like you want to skip Christmas all together.
Despite us all saying in October how organised we are going to be with our Christmas shopping, every year we are still running through the shops in a hot sweat practically on the verge of a mental breakdown.
During our shopping frenzy I guarantee we all experience the same aggressive thoughts.
“Why does it feel like the whole population of the UK is in this shop?”
Wouldn’t it just be a dream if we could drift in and out of the shops, spending as long as we like observing every single gift in order to choose something that we are truly satisfied with. Yet this isn’t the case. The shopping centres, shops, pavements, cafes, everywhere is full of people. People who are normally aimlessly walking around at 1mph engrossed in their phone when they do not realise that they are in your way and none of us have the patience for that.
“Shopping on a Saturday could go down as one of the worst ideas I’ve had in 2014”
I live in Birmingham and entering the bullring at the weekend is a strict no no. Especially as not only is the queue for the shops half an hour long, but so is the queue for the escalator. Therefore I believe I am being wise deciding to do my Christmas shopping in the middle of the day on a Tuesday. But clearly this year everybody has decided to quit their day jobs during the festive period considering the shops are just as rammed.
“How is everything half price when Christmas hasn’t even happened yet?”
Finding a bargain is normally fantastic but when it’s Christmas we are normally tempted by “half price gift sets” of absolute rubbish that we know for a fact the receiver of the gift will not like. We are constantly tempted by these bargains as they are a cheap and fast option but they’re completely unnecessary and most likely the RRP is the same price it is being sold for anyway.
“Fantastic, everything I brought last month is in the sale”
Probably the worst thing that could happen is when you stroll into a shop feeling smug that you’ve already purchased your gifts in October as you’re super organised. Although you then seem to notice that said presents are now half price. You’ve past the 30 day returns policy and now you’re organised self is feeling slightly dispirited and very angry.
“Surely if I like it then they will?”
It’s very hard shopping for other people and slightly depressing as you’re parting with your cash for somebody else (slightly selfish but we all think it). Therefore I know that I always see lovely things in the shop and think “well I love it so they’re bound to” and I later end up with a load of gifts that you want.
Let’s just hope their taste is as good as mine.
I think I probably hate Christmas more than the Grinch right now
When I am not Christmas shopping I love walking through Birmingham with the Christmas market, carol singers and musicians blaring out Christmas music. Although if I’m on a mission to Christmas shop, it is a completely different story. All festive cheer is lost and I am pushing people out the way to get to the next shop. If I’m struggling with hot flushes and lack of patience anything to do with Christmas is just going to piss me off. Bah Humbug.
“I think after all this stress I deserve a to treat myself”
We all have that moment whilst Christmas shopping where we are sick of thinking about what everybody else wants for Christmas and our eye catches that sparkly dress in Topshop that would be a great possibility for New Years Eve. With bank balances running low we try and walk past it until we think of a fantastic plan of lowing the budget for everybody elses presents in order to afford this dress. Then again it is only fair, if we have battled the shops for the last few hours we deserve to treat ourselves.
“I must keep a straight face and not make eye contact with the thousands of Chuggers surrounding the street”
Now I understand that it is the season of good will and everything but nothing is worse than when you’re in a rush and you have a chugger waving in your face in order to guilt trick you into standing there for fifteen minutes and donating to their charity. I donate to the charities I wish to donate to therefore please don’t interrupt me whilst I am Christmas shopping because you probably won’t experience the friendliest side of me. Especially if you stop me and say “you look like you’re in a good mood today” because quite frankly I am not.
“Everything will be half price in January so I will be financially savvy and buy all my gifts then for next Christmas”
I’m sure I will have enough shopping energy in me to tackle the January sales, I’ll buy a load of gifts then and I will save myself from experiencing this hell next Christmas.
(This plan is rarely followed through.)
“Scrap it, I’m going to resort to internet shopping in the comfort of my own ‘stress free’ home”
Because sometimes the extortionate delivery prices are worth it.